“You know that weeds will grow in a garden, so you just need to know if you want to have a good garden and you are looking for weeds regularly and remove them where they exist,” he said.
The repair comes down to three simple steps.
Be aware of the time when repair is necessary
When a student’s affect changes, this can often be the first sign of a fractured relationship, according to Stuart. Some examples are that if a student who was generally out of you has become more withdrawn, or if a student who often greeted you at the start of the course no longer does it.
Teachers must be aware and note the changes in the behavior or the emotional state of their student.
Address it directly and talk to the student
The next step is to directly approach the potential conflict by speaking directly to the student, according to Stuart.
The student can be briefly distant in the corridor or during independent work, he suggests. The teacher can underline the change in the student and ask: “Is there something that I should be aware?” And “Did I do something that led to this change?”
Recognizing that there could be a problem can help repair the relationship.
“The simple fact of raising this is … the share of the lion to work on repair,” said Stuart. “I find that in many cases, approach the change and ask if I did something that will help.”
Take responsibility and talk about what you can do better next time
The third step is that teachers recognize if they did something to cause damage.
“Teachers are not perfect,” said Stuart.
Be aware of yourself and think about the question of whether something has been said too hard or said in a way that has embarrassed. According to Stuart, it looks like: “Yesterday, I corrected this task behavior that I saw you do, but I don’t feel good in the way I did it, and I mean I’m sorry.”
Stuart says that these three steps require minimal work and can lead to a more pleasant learning environment for the teacher and the student.
“I never try to be … Best friends or be the best teacher of all time to my students, but I just try to facilitate a pleasant and productive experience,” he said.
Snap-up
Clay Cook says that most educators believe in the power of relationships, but traditionally, schools do not have a common language or dedicated practices to cultivate these links intentionally.
This led Cook to design support in schools called “Settabe-Maintain-Restore” (EMR), a framework and practices, educators can adopt and implement in class. Cook is the director of development with a Strong character, an organization forming teachers in EMR, who promotes healthy relationships by establishing links, by maintaining these connections and in the restaurant in the event of damage.
Science indicates that any relationship – whether a couple, one with an employer or a teacher and their students – often emples over time, especially when the parties involved do not work to maintain this relationship, said Cook.
“Misonct, conflict, disagreements … These things can harm a relationship,” said Cook. “And because of this, it is necessary to be intentional in the back to be able to repair and repair this.”
According to Cook, the DME method encourages teachers to engage in a reflection on intentional relationships. Teachers fulfill the reflection forms to determine which students are “established”, which means that the relationship must still be formed. Students in “maintenance” mean a relationship but must be encouraged. And those who are “restored” mean that the teacher must repair relations with these students.
Cook says that these four skillful communication techniques can help during the repair conversation:
Let go
Young people often think that adults have grudge after doing something and that these things are selected against them, he said.
“And when you look, a lot of adults TO DO Hang on what students said or done in their environment, and they don’t let it go, “said Cook.
He said that the release conversation had to be authentic and authentic for the student to believe what you say.
Appropriate
Young people react well when adults appropriate, said Cook. Teachers who admit their role in the cause of conflict or disagreement show that “they are not in a soap box, that it takes two people for any interaction”.
He said that it was not a question of taking a single blame or blaming one person in relation to another.
Winner
Cook said it was also important to collaborate on how to improve the relationship during repair.
“We are going … saying:” Hey, whatever happened, it didn’t work for both sides. I think we can bring together our brains and find a way not to repeat (this conflict) in the future, ” he said.
In this way, the student can share his feelings and ideas on how to go ahead and be part of the solution. Teachers can also follow their perspectives and offer solutions.
Separate the act from the office
Cook says that many young people think that adults do not care about them or do not define who they are through their behavior.
By separating “the act” of “the office”, the teacher lets students know that they have intrinsic value and redeemable qualities and that their behavior does not define who they are.
“We will always hold the students responsible for behavior, but we do not want the student to lose sight of … who they are,” said Cook. He added, in education, it is not only a question of forging links between them, but also of the quality of these connections.
