Based on the 2013 play “Killers” by Armento and the 2019 short film “Sometimes I Think of Death,” director Rachel Lambert’s “Sometimes I Think of Death,” starring and produced by Daisy Ridley, offers a poignant and introspective exploration of social anxiety, isolation, and anxiety. And suicidal motives. Meticulously set in a small coastal town in Oregon, Ridley’s character, Fran, navigates the background of life as she wrestles with daydreams about her own death. Ridley gives a captivating performance, showcasing her range outside of her iconic role in the Star Wars saga.
Lost on the bleak Oregon coast, Fran (Daisy Ridley) finds solace in her cabin, where she listens to the incessant murmur of her colleagues and occasionally daydreams to pass the time. She wanders through life, unable to burst her bubble of isolation, however, when a friendly new co-worker, Robert (Dave Merheji), constantly tries to reach out to her. Even though it went against every part of her being, she might have to give this man a chance.
Fran likes to think about death. It brings a sense of her peaceful life. When you make the new guy at work laugh, it leads to more: a date, a piece of pie, a conversation, a spark. The only thing standing in their way is Fran herself.
Working as an office manager, a role in which she quietly excels, the film brilliantly depicts the awkwardness of Fran’s interactions with her co-workers, and highlights her struggles to speak up and navigate social situations. Lambert’s direction immersed me in Fran’s perspective, creating a sense of intimacy and empathy for her internal struggles with introversion and loneliness. The depiction of social anxiety and awkwardness feels authentic and relatable, resonating with the complexities of human connection in a world filled with loneliness. Lambert chose to tell this story, identifying as I did with Isolation and how it can feel for a person to struggle to find connection in the world that surrounds them. Fran is ultimately a person who wants to feel love, joy, and connection with others, but throughout the film this path plays out ambiguous and often beyond her reach. So, for comfort, like many others, Fran retreats into her mind, creating a landscape of forest floors and oceans. The mind is a place where you can imagine all kinds of things for fun and often stimulation. Sometimes it is the images that allow her to understand the ultimate escape from life. These thoughts, although they allow her to feel the most sense, can only deepen her feelings of being too “different” or “weird.” Thus, the gap between her public and private self widens. Until then, she meets Robert, who disrupts her patterns of structured detachment.
There is a lot of loneliness in the world today, and this film captures that realistically, slowly revealing itself to both the main characters. Fran and Robert meet and awkwardly begin a relationship. As they embark on this awkward relationship, the film beautifully balances moments of sadness with glimpses of hope and humor. Lambert skillfully restrains the dialogue, allowing the visual storytelling to take center stage and elicit emotional depth. The film’s mix of influences, from deadpan humor to human drama, results in a captivating and thought-provoking story that raises awareness about mental health issues. If you’re an introvert like me, the arrival of new friends disrupts patterns. However, Robert embraced her rather than avoiding her when she was at her weakest. I’ve been seen. Her pain seemed to dissolve. Fran is a woman who channels so much anxiety, fear, and dread into her body in the moment, and yet, she remains determined to find meaning. She’s tireless, messy, playful, and also in some pain. I found it somewhat comforting to see this depicted honestly.
Sometimes I Think of Death is a quiet and thoughtful examination of social anxiety, depression, and the challenges one faces. The film’s beautiful music and tone enhance its depiction of an engaging love story, offering a tender and sensitive look at the complexities of the human experience. When one thinks about death, one worries about life. I get so busy living and living right that I think a lot in my head so I ended up staying there. That’s what Fran does. With Robert now in the picture, Lambert allows Fran’s story to move forward to today allowing Fran to see what is right in front of her. And risk loving everything in order to survive. Fran is not interested in hurting herself, that’s not her goal. What I felt while watching was that pain, for her, had to do more to figure out how to be a person in the world, and to be comfortable with all that that entailed. Ridley’s outstanding performance, coupled with Lambert’s nuanced direction, make this a compelling and emotionally resonant cinematic experience that delivers a masterful portrait of shame.
This truly independent feature showcases the highest level of craftsmanship in filmmaking. Steady lenses and composite shots, thanks to cinematographer Dustin Lin, guide the audience into noticing the subtle, nuanced details that ultimately find beauty and emotional resonance in everyday moments. Director Fran’s precise style allows us to delve deeper into the story, with lead actress Ridley’s wonderful ability to convey emotion through subtle gestures adding a layer of depth to the film. Composer Dabney Morris’s score gives the film a melancholy feel, and is the perfect accompaniment to writers Kevin Armento and Stephanie Abel Horowitz and Katie Wright Mead’s screenplay.
Besides the subtle sense of melancholy, as mentioned, the film also offers moments of hope and joy in its protagonist’s simple pleasures. From Fran excelling at her job to enjoying cheese and wine in her apartment, the film embraces the beauty in life’s small moments. The inclusion of dark humor adds an unexpected twist, such as during a murder mystery where Fran’s fascination with death serves her well.
Final thoughts
In conclusion, “Sometimes I Think About Death” is a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of mental health and human connection, brought to life by stunning performances and visually rich storytelling. Lambert’s directorial vision and Ridley’s compelling photography make this a must-see film for those seeking a deeper understanding of social anxiety and the complexities of the human psyche. I found it rather cathartic and honest.
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